Friday, 4 May 2018

EWOKS SURPRISINGLY UNDECIDED WHETHER DEATH STAR A GOOD THING



After a full day of voting all across the Forest Moon of Endor, many Ewoks awoke to news today that a surprising number of them are still quite in favour of another Death Star.

Some members of the Ewok community were even more surprised by the news, considering the unapologetically evil Galactic Empire recently bombed yet another star-system, and also deported several of the Ewok Elders for having the wrong coloured fur. Even some older and infirm ones, who now require "YubYubs" (nappies).

Although the last time the Galactic Empire appeared above Endor it proved an Ewoktarian tragedy of unrivalled proportion (around the year 1939 in Earth's time-frame), some Ewoks remain convinced "it will all work out better this time round."

One wealthy Ewok Elder, with the RIGHT coloured fur, commented (translation):
"Yes I know the Death Star was used to annihilate our pesky neighbours in Alderaan, but they were foreigners, and they were taking all our jobs. I'm assured its presence above Endor was merely to secure order. Bring it on, I say." 
The same Elder then proceeded to spit-roast and eat his actual neighbour, and their entire family. A process wealthier Ewoks refer to as "YubYub" ('trickle-down economics').

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